Forums like r/FearofFlying allow travelers to ask questions directly to experts like Captain Jones, as well as “find solace in knowing that they are not alone in their struggles with anxiety,” Feinstein says, adding that the subreddit may help normalize the fear so people don’t feel shame around it. Reddit isn’t the only social media platform with support group-like communities such as this. Private Facebook groups like “Fear of Flying Forum” have thousands of members offering pre-flight pep talks. There’s even a decades-old message board tied to the SOAR program, an online fear-of-flying course run by a pilot-turned-therapist named Tom Bunn. On TikTok or YouTube, first-time fliers film themselves reacting to takeoff, while others commiserate in the comments: “I have found my people,” says one, to which another replies, “we should have a therapy group! lol!!!”
What struck me while I was browsing r/FearOfFlying is how seriously its members show up for one another. One commenter posted, “Flight from LAX to JFK, ready to board—track me please!” and within minutes, replies rolled in: “Following. You’re in good hands!” “It looks like you have nice weather the whole way.” “Just passed 30,000 feet. You got this!”
For many people, just being in a space where that fear is met with empathy—not dismissal—makes all the difference. It helps build self-compassion, which Feinstein says is a valuable tool borrowed from group therapy, where others offer the support we learn to give ourselves. “I’ve never seen a post with zero comments,” a regular on r/FearOfFlying named Franki* tells me. She joined the forum after being diagnosed with severe anxiety and OCD, and found that, “everyone within the sub is so supportive and empathetic.”
Both Franki and Sydney say they found extra reassurance in the pilots and air-traffic dispatchers who jump into r/FearOfFlying to demystify turbulence and explain how weather patterns affect flights. Captain Jones, for example, logs onto the subreddit multiple times a day. “I have helped grow it from 5,000 members to over 36,000 by providing support and insight into how we, as airline pilots, operate safely and the tools we use for good aeronautical decision making,” he says. “I love opening up a window to our world of aviation and helping people see the amount of work, training, and regulations that go into it.”
Lately, Captain Jones has been fielding a lot of questions about storms: “We, as pilots, follow a severe weather checklist and have to be 100% sure that we can operate the aircraft safely, along with having a plan B,” he replied to one worried Redditer. “We do not take off or land with severe thunderstorms within three miles of the airport. Likewise, we do not take off or land with lightning present and/or indications of a microburst.”
For some users, just having that kind of information—explanations, odds, protocols—can be enough to ease the spiral. “Data points about turbulence, take off, landing, and crash statistics offer people a sense of control and comfort in an otherwise uncertain world,” says Feinstein. But while it might offer short-term relief, the need for constant reassurance can also have a downside. “Most people who struggle with [fear of flying] feel vulnerable to the very slight possibility that something bad could happen,” says Feinstein. “That can lead to compulsively seeking reassurance, which actually makes people feel more out of control in the long run.”
