Late-night hosts delve into Donald Trump’s historically low poll numbers after his chaotic first 100 days in office.
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart appeared on The Daily Show with a cartoonishly long fake beard to signify 100 days of Donald Trump’s second administration “I am so tired,” he croaked. “It’s ageing this nation in Tom Hanks in Castaway years.”
Stewart then played a series of clips of the administration touting Trump’s second term as an unqualified success. “Suck it, Jefferson! Suck it, Lincoln! Suck it, Roosevelts squared,” he exclaimed. “Trump’s first 100 days is like if America landed on the moon and killed Bin Laden in the same mission! ‘Thought you could hide on the moon, Bin Laden? Get him, boys!’ According to Trump, the most successful 100 days in the history of our country. Can anyone offer a counterpoint?”
Counterpoint: a compilation of news clips outlining the chaos of the first 100 days, including economic volatility over Trump’s tariffs, outrage over Elon Musk’s “department of government efficiency” (Doge), and the lowest approval rating for a president in 80 years.
“Suck it, Herbert Hoover!” Stewart joked before clips of Trump claiming that the economy will “roar” when he takes office, during “a brand-new Trump economic boom”.
“Unfortunately, it’s pretty clear that on the economy, Donald Trump did make a boom-boom,” Stewart said. “Perhaps Trump feels so positive because while the economy is headed south for most people, there have been some winners!”
Stewart then dug into Trump’s bluster on the tariffs, including baseless claims that he made “over 200 deals” with different countries, of which there are fewer than 200. “We’re in this position because we’ve been sold this idea of Trump as the master,” Stewart explained. “The art of the deal. Only he can bring these nations to heel. It is all bullshit.”
“Trump is so arrogant, he thinks the leverage is his. It’s ours. We the people!” he continued. “It took the people more than 250 years of striving to live up to a constitutional republic and rule of law, painstaking equity that you are squandering. That is the crux of American exceptionalism. You just want to make us ‘great’. That’s a downgrade! Our brand is not strategic uncertainty, and you are not the keeper of our pot of gold. You are a temporary leprechaun.”
He concluded: “The more enamored, President Trump, you are with your authoritarian whims, the more that you turn our shining city on a hill into just another ordinary, despot-led, sea-level shithole.”
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert noted Trump’s favorability rating as low as 39%, the worst numbers since polling began. “I gotta believe that’s hard to hear,” he said. “Nothing Trump has done so far is particularly popular in any of these polls so far, but the thing that’s really dragging him down is his handling of the economy.
Colbert cited an ABC poll that found seven in 10 Americans thought the economy was “not so good” or “poor”. “The other 30% are either in a coma or in his cabinet. Or both,” he quipped.
Another poll showed that only 35% of Americans approve of Elon Musk. Perhaps related, Tesla’s income fell over 70% in the first quarter of the year. “You cannot buy that kind of marketing,” Colbert deadpanned. So Musk announced that starting in May, he will step back from the government and return to working with the company. “Yes, he wants to be there personally at Tesla to offer all his most valued employees his sperm,” Colbert joked.
Musk promised to cut $2tn from government spending, then changed it to $1tn, and only made a verifiable $63bn reduction in government spending. “But they’re hoping to shave off a couple more billion by making the Air Force switch to Kirkland Signature fighter jets,” Colbert joked.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers mocked Democrats’ feckless response to the Trump administration. “What this administration is doing is an unprecedented constitutional crisis,” said Meyers, “like his repressive shakedown of college and universities. What are you guys doing about that?”
According to Chuck Schumer, congressional Democrats sent Trump a “very strong letter just the other day” asking “eight very strong questions”.
“Is this a constitutional crisis or Jane Austen novel?” Meyers laughed. “The guy doesn’t even read his presidential daily briefing – you think he’s sitting by the mailbox waiting for a letter from Chuck Schumer? If your neighbor is blasting house music at 2am, you don’t write him a letter. You pound on the fucking wall until he stops.”
Meyers mimicked Schumer: “We sent him a very strong letter with eight very strong questions, and we said, ‘Pop quiz, Mr Trump.’ And if he gets them wrong, we’re going to say ‘Tsk tsk,’ and then we’re going to give him a D- on his report card. Unfortunately, we can’t give him an F, because the last time we did, he drew a line and he turned it into an A, and we said, ‘Aw, shucks. He tricked us again.’”
Meyers imagined Trump’s response that Schumer would never get: “Chuck, just got your letter, so sorry. Guess it got messed up with the other mail. Gonna get back to you ASAP on all eight questions. Just don’t want to rush it, as I could tell you took a lot of time with yours, and want to repay you with the same thoughtfulness and kind in the future.
“To make sure your correspondence reaches me as quickly as possible,” he continued, “please make sure to wad them into a ball and stick them directly up your own ass. Best, Don.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel poked fun at Trump wearing a blue suit to the pope’s funeral, where everyone else was dressed in black. “Fox News, you may remember, had a collective aneurysm when Obama wore a tan suit to a press briefing,” Kimmel reminded. “Man oh man, if Obama had worn a blue suit to the pope’s funeral? Sean Hannity’s head would’ve exploded inside Trump’s ass.”
On Air Force One, Trump was asked if he had any plans for his wife Melania’s birthday while they were in Italy. He answered: “I’ll take her for dinner on the Boeing. I’ll take her for dinner on Air Force One … we’ve been pretty busy. But things are working out very well, and people are starting to see how good tariffs are for us.”
“So the answer is no and no. But nice work slipping the tariffs in there!” Kimmel laughed. “So they’re having dinner on the plane. What women wouldn’t want to celebrate her birthday in Italy with airplane food, watching her husband wolf down a 30-piece McNuggets and a liter of Diet Coke.”
