Italian Etiquette for Traveling Food Lovers, From Ordering Coffee to Asking for the Check

Whether you’re twirling spaghetti carbonara at a rustic trattoria in Rome, tucking into a hearty steak in Florence, or devouring a steaming pizza margherita in Naples, dining out is one of the great pleasures of traveling around il Bel Paese (the beautiful country). But just because you frequent Italian restaurants in the U.S., that doesn’t mean you’ll be prepared for the way menus are structured and the terms used in Italy. As a Rome-based journalist, I’ve learned the customs around ordering here, from how to ask for coffee (and get what you actually want) to the etiquette for savoring multi-course meals among friends and family. Here’s what you need to know.

Morning coffee in Italy

In Italy, the words bar and caffè are essentially interchangeable. They’re typically open all day and serve espresso, pastries, alcoholic drinks, and light meals or snacks. Many Italians start the day with a cappuccino and cornetto (croissant) standing at the bar counter and might pop into a bar throughout the day for a quick espresso. If you want to join the locals in this time-honored tradition, line up at the cash register and pay for your order first, then place your receipt on the counter for the barista. If you want to sit, wait for a waiter to take your order. Just know that you’re going to pay more for your food and drinks because service is factored into the price.

Dining out in Italy

When dining at a sit-down restaurant in Italy — whether a trattoria (classic, traditional), osteria (casual), or ristorante (elegant) — the menu typically follows the same format, though the dishes will vary from region to region. First, there are the antipasti (appetizers), which might include local cheeses and charcuterie, fried delicacies, or raw or cooked meat or seafood. Next, there’s a section for the primi, which means pasta or rice-based dishes. Then there are the secondi: main dishes such as meat or fish, and contorni: side dishes like cooked vegetables or salad. Finally, there are the dolci (desserts), followed by caffè and/or a digestivo, such as amaro or limoncello.

Don’t feel obligated to order a dish from every section of the menu, but if you’re eating at a sit-down restaurant, you’ll be expected to order two or three dishes. My husband and I typically start with an antipasto, then order either a primo or a secondo with a contorno, and then maybe dessert. Or you could skip the antipasto and go directly for a primo and secondo.

“If you want to imitate the locals, don’t order a contorno with your primo. These are reserved for accompanying your secondo,” explains Maria Pasquale, award-winning journalist and author of the new book, Mangia: How to Eat Your Way Through Italy. “It’s quite acceptable to order a contorno as a starter, but Italians don’t eat salad and pasta together, ever.”

If you’re with a group, it’s common to get a few antipasti to share family style, but then each person at the table should get their own portion of pasta or a main course. If my husband and I want to share a few things, we might ask for one portion of pasta split in two (it will come out as two half portions) and then each get our own main course. It’s perfectly acceptable to share dessert, but once you see the options, you might want your own!

“Especially when I’m in a new town or city, I always ask the waitstaff what dishes are local or typical to the area,” Pasquale says. “They’re always more than happy to help and usually proud to list all the things I should try.”

How not to order

If you really want to order a cappuccino after lunch or dinner, your waiter will bring it to you, but don’t be surprised if they tease you about it. There’s no hard-and-fast rule that you can’t order a cappuccino after 11 a.m., but Italians wouldn’t drink one after a big meal because that much milk is believed to hamper digestion. Think about it: Have you ever drank a cappuccino after a big meal and then felt like the food was sitting in your stomach like a brick? If a shot of espresso is too strong, try an espresso macchiato (espresso with a dollop of steamed milk). Or skip the coffee altogether. As an alternative, you could ask for a tisana (herbal tea) or a digestivo. 

Check, please

When the meal is finished, don’t expect your waiter to automatically bring you the bill. In Italy, dining out is meant to be a leisurely affair, so it would be considered rude for the waiter to rush you out. When you want the bill, ask for “il conto per favore.”

There might be a line item for coperto or pane e coperto (i.e. a cover charge or bread and cover charge). This is not the same as a tip. If the bill says servizio incluso, that means service is included, but tips are still very much appreciated. The handheld card readers used throughout Italy typically don’t allow for tips, so keep some cash on hand and leave it on the table.

“I always tip for good service. It’s not obligatory in Italy but it sure is extremely welcome,” Pasquale says. “Sadly, Italy has some of the lowest wages in the EU and so hospitality staff will certainly appreciate your kindness.”