Yes, it was always just assumed I would go to college and I can’t say I considered any other options (except for maybe 12 hours when I thought about the Coast Guard because I like boats and the coast and then remembered I also don’t like guns or the military). My mother, father, and stepdad all went to college, my father had a PhD and my mom and stepdad each have a master’s. My mom and step-dad are both teachers and learning was always valued as very important. I really wanted to go out of state for college but luckily my parents convinced me not to saddle myself with that kind of debt. My four-year undergraduate degree was a combination of small scholarships, student loans, my parents paying for portions, and me paying for living expenses. I also took out a private $5,000 endowment loan for a scuba diving three-week study abroad program. My master’s degree was primarily paid for by my employer at the time (a large state university that offered tuition reimbursement for employees), aside from $5,000 which was taken out via an endowment loan. I paid off my student loans in full in 2019.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I was primarily raised by my mom and step-dad, who did talk to me about the value of saving, and investing and the importance of that (although it fell on somewhat deaf ears). I do remember an eighth grade history teacher adding some financial knowledge to his curriculum. I have struggled with my finances in the past and had a period of $10,000+ credit card debt in my 20s. I worked hard to get out of that and won’t go back down that road.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
At age 12 I started helping my aunt out with her accounting business, and at 15 I started working as a T-ball coach for one summer and at Sonic Drive In as a carhop. I held a variety of service industry jobs in high school and college and almost always had at least two jobs. My jobs in high school were to have spending money and save for college, and my college jobs were to cover living expenses and have spending money. I have a lifelong bad habit of having too many jobs.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I wouldn’t say I “worried” about money but I did understand that things cost money. I knew we took road trips to visit family on the East Coast because it was much cheaper than flying. I knew I stopped horseback riding lessons because it was getting very expensive. I was never worried about having food to eat or clothes, and once I started working at a young age I started paying for things for fun. Before starting college I saved up approximately $7,000 from jobs. I did use some of that money to get SCUBA certified as I knew once I was in college I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I worried about money a lot after I graduated college and during my 20s and early 30s when I struggled to find employment as a biologist and spent a lot of time doing very low-paying or non-paying internships, and would alternate that with working for my aunt’s business to generate income. My first full-time position was at age 26 for $29,000 a year (because: science). Money was a constant source of stress. In addition, L. was convicted of a felony for weed possession (over a decade ago now) which resulted in the loss of his ability to practice law, significant debt, a 10-month stay in prison and then a career change, which caused a lot of financial upheaval and stress for both of us including moving, loss of a vehicle, loss of income, etc. My bank accounts were actually seized by the state government at the time and I lost what I did have and had to take out a loan from my parents to survive. While this was a horrible and traumatic experience this also gave L. the push that was needed to follow me to a more liberal state where his affinity for cannabis would never be an issue again.
Do you worry about money now?
In 2019 I was promoted to a different position at my university and my income raised significantly. I went from constantly worrying about money, having multiple roommates, and not anticipating being able to buy my own home in my new city to having significantly more flexibility with my money and being able to purchase a home in 2020. I moved to the West Coast in 2016 and hustled really hard for four years after I moved here, continuing my past job and doing freelance for a few other universities as I had developed specialized skills in museum collection database management. I did all of this in addition to my main full-time job in order to save up money for a down payment. I am really glad I did this as it paid off but I also was working so much it had a pretty serious impact on my mental health. I have done some real work on understanding my anxiety and my natural instinct to chronically overextend myself and have worked hard in recent years to change that. I do worry about money now, mainly because of the huge cost of childcare, the lack of raises/CLA at my employer, and just the general situation our country is currently in. I do worry significantly less now at age 39 than I worried at age 29 when I was making $29,000 a year and putting living expenses on credit cards and had a partner that was starting over career wise. I have received raises in the past few years in my current position by taking on additional work, and I think in large part because I showed my value and worth during the pandemic when my job essentially changed overnight and I was working 60+ hours a week as part of the crisis response team. I also teach courses on the side which accounts for $8,000 of my annual income, but if my courses don’t fill with students I don’t end up teaching so I do worry about whether that income will come to fruition, because in the summer when I do not have that income money is much more tight. I also worry about how I will continue to afford home repairs once my inheritance savings are gone (but I hope once my son is out of daycare I can save more). Portland is getting a lot hotter in the summer and we don’t have air conditioning, so that is the primary concern. I also still worry about L.’s significant debt from law school and how that will impact us in the future — especially depending on how the current administration decides to handle student loan debt. I have also struggled to change my spending habits now that S. is in daycare and we essentially have a second mortgage and my husband is self employed without retirement benefits.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
After college I became somewhat financially responsible for myself however I alternated between living at home with my parents and doing internships/field work in my field for several years. During this period I saved up approximately $12,000 to backpack Europe with my best friend, then moved back home and saved another $12,000 to move to Los Angeles. I was able to do this by not paying rent/utilities and living with my parents for “free” and being on my parents’ health insurance (I did contribute to food costs, etc). Once I moved to LA I became fully responsible for myself, however the financial situation in LA did not work for me and I moved back to my home state after one year and moved in with my partner and started a job at my undergraduate university (where I then simultaneously pursued my master’s). Since this time I have been responsible for all my expenses (besides my phone), however my parents have been there for some support if I needed help (like during time L. was convicted and when my dog had a major surgery), and I know they would help as much as they could if something else happened now. I do not plan to rely on that in any way as I know they are going to need their money for their care as they age, especially as my mom’s health continues to decline.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My father passed away in 2019 and I received inheritance of approximately $25,000 in 2021 when his estate was settled. This was very unexpected as he was not really involved in my life and his financial and living situation was a complete mess, however it turned out the property of his former business was worth a lot of money due to its zoning — even though it was in horrific shape — which resulted in some inheritance for me and my siblings. I bought a fixer-upper house as L. is a contractor and we decided to prioritize location (and there wasn’t anything near my university we could afford that was in great shape and I wanted to take advantage of a home buying grant available through my employer). The inheritance money has been extremely helpful as I have allocated this money towards home repairs/renovations, and already spent a significant portion as we have redone the bathroom, kitchen, built a fence and sauna, and painted our house. In addition, my parents did loan me $30,000 when I bought my house so that I could get to a 20% down payment and not pay mortgage insurance. I have paid off $10,000 of the loan and currently owe $20,000. The payments are currently paused due to daycare expense. In addition, my work provided me with a $15,000 down payment grant to buy in the area of my work which essentially gets forgiven over five years (and I just hit five years last month!). I also received a $20,000 Wells Fargo Neighborhood LIFT grant which was also forgiven after five years (I did nothing other than make under $75,000 a year and apply and get lucky enough to get an appointment. My realtor let me know about this program and I am forever grateful it all aligned. I essentially got $35,000 towards my house for free!).
