He lives!
They seek him here! They seek him there! For the last ten days or so, Ed Miliband has been the Invisible Man. A large number of the cabinet were in Oxfordshire for Rachel Reeves’s growth speech last Wednesday. Ed was not. Those who didn’t make the trip were in the Commons later on for prime minister’s questions as Keir Starmer reinforced the growth message. Ed was not. Some ministers lent their support as Darren Jones gave a statement on growth. Ed did not.
Check Ed’s ministerial diary for the past week and you will find it had been largely empty. There had been no clashes to keep him away from his colleagues. Rather, Ed had barricaded himself in his office. Refusing to come out even when one of his advisers asked to be let in. Bread and water were left outside his door. He was there for the duration.
It is the saddest story ever told. Miliband and Reeves used to be the closest of friends. Rachel was a key member of Team Ed when he stood for the leadership of the Labour party in 2010 and was rewarded with a shadow cabinet job the following year despite having only been an MP for 12 months. They were inseparable.
Fast forward to the present day. They don’t ring each other. They don’t text. They barely even speak. The process of conscious uncoupling is a painful one. Therapists have tried to mediate but to no great effect. Healing is a long way away. The problem is the economy. Rachel is willing to do whatever it takes to promote growth in the UK. Ed thinks there needs to be boundaries. Expanding airports has to be within carbon emission targets. No new drilling licences. Neither is willing to budge. They are on a collision course. Something will have to give.
On Tuesday, Miliband finally came out of his bunker for energy security and net zero departmental questions. And to be fair he did not look much like a tortured soul. Either he’s coping with the breakup reasonably well or else he’s a good actor. Probably the former. He looked bright and chipper, if slightly disappointed that his opposite number, Claire Coutinho, was away on maternity leave. Every secretary of state needs a Claire. Someone who is not that bright and doesn’t really understand her brief.
You soon saw why Ed looked so happy with life. He is a man who believes he has the angels on his side. More importantly he believes he has the Labour backbenchers and supporters on his side. When it comes to Labour’s net zero and climate change commitments, most Labour MPs are all for them.
They think these things matter. Not just because it’s important to keep your manifesto commitments, but also because the planet will be screwed if you don’t. Climate change targets are not mutable. They can’t be traded for short-term growth targets. Well, not entirely. Some are willing to compromise on Heathrow. But new oil fields are a no-no.
Just how muchthe Labour backbenchers love Miliband could be seen by the number of difficult questions they asked him. None. We know that many are furious with Reeves and Starmer over Heathrow and Rosebank, but they chose to keep quiet. Partly because they didn’t want to turn a private row into a public one, but largely because they didn’t want to make life more difficult than it already is for Ed. They know he is single-handedly fighting a battle with his cabinet colleagues and reckon he is best helped by not causing him any embarrassment in the Commons. If in doubt, avoid the minefield.
So Ed could rest easy. Safe in the knowledge there was no danger on the benches behind him. The hardest questions he got from his own side were requests for more solar farms and invitations to criticise the opposition for its lack of progress towards energy security. Miliband didn’t need to be asked twice. There’s nothing he likes more than a bit of Tory bashing. Even if these days that’s a bit like taking candy from a baby. But what the hell? You can only defeat the people who are put in front of you.
All of which made for a rather pleasant 60 minutes for the secretary of state. Even the questions from the opposition benches could be answered in his sleep. Junior shadow minister Joy Morrissey set the tone. Never the brightest of any group in which she finds herself, Joy has never yet found an occasion to which she can’t live down.
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“Aha!” she said. You granted a licence to Dale Vince. And he’s a Labour donor. That means there must have been a conflict of interest. Ed yawned. Try to keep up. This stuff was just a waste of his time. It was a matter of public record that he had recused himself from this particular decision. He was surprised Morrissey hadn’t checked the register before asking the question. No one else was. Joy gives half-wits a bad name.
Tory Harriet “Drill, Baby, Drill” Cross at least tried to raise Rosebank. Would the planning licence be considered as an existing application rather than a new one? Bearing in mind Labour had committed to not granting any new ones. Miliband rather dodged the issue, choosing instead to observe that the problem had only arisen because the Conservatives had given an unlawful consent. He nodded and winked towards his own side. Read my lips. Trust me. Rosebank goes ahead over my dead body.
But departmental questions is seldom without its comedy. So thank God for Andrew Bowie, the shadow energy minister who is stepping in for Coutinho. Andy is the gift that keeps on giving. Back when the Tories were in government he had to be moved from his job as pylons minister because he was found to be campaigning against pylons in his own constituency. Literally, left hand meet right. The same could be said of his synapses. He can only wish. He asked something about Great British Energy, but by the time he had finished his sentence no one was listening. He is not a serious person.
The best laugh came right at the end when Richard Tice started moaning about fossil fuel prices in the same breath as shouting ”net stupid zero”. If he can’t see the link, he’s beyond help. Though I guess we knew that. Ed tried to break it to him gently. Net zero was about energy security. TAKING BACK CONTROL. Dicky looked amazed. He’d never thought of this. Ed just smiled. Now he could go back to his department. Where the real battles were fought. But for an hour we had been treated to a cabinet minister on top of his brief and unapologetic. It could catch on.
