Key events
50 min Lovely from Neto, who draws Hollingshead in, scalds him on the outside … and can’t find Jackson with his cut-back.
48 min How far do we think Chelsea are from a credible title challenge? It’s amazing really, given how much money they’ve spent, that the probably correct answer is “very”. There are, of course, many ways to tell, but generally speaking the side that wins it has at least three players among the best in the world in their position; do Chelsea have any?
46 min He may have gone off, but I trust the LA fans have a song for Ebobisse to this banger:
46 min We go again…
Giroud is no longer topless. He’d forgotten his shirt, but a teammate fetches it for him and he replaces Ebobisse.
I actually have a Giroud story, which I’ve doubtless relayed before, but here we go: I was in the discotheque and saw him in the toilet; the attendant goes “Oi, you’re … you’re …” so Olivier Giroud offers “Olivier Giroud?”. “Yeah, that’s right,” agrees the attendant, at which point hilarious me intejects “You can tell because he’s looking in the mirror adjusting his hair.”
Oh how they laughed.
Changes for Chelsea: Fernandez and Gusto for Lavia and James. Oh, and Olivier Giroud, on the LAFC bench, has his top off. Incredible scenes!
Half-time email: “Americanized stadiums not a patch on the good old days at Roker Park, The Den etc? I dunno,” muses Bill. “I was pissed on by the home fans at Loftus Road, the away fans at Portman Road, attacked by West Ham fans at the old Wembley. Back to the 80s? No thanks!”
There surely exists a happy medium.
Half-time entertainment:
HALF-TIME: Chelsea 1-0 LAFC
A bit of a set-to to end the half, Bounaga and Neto sharing sentiments once the whistle goes with various others getting, er, in and around them. But the ref intercedes and off everyone trots.
45+2 min Jackson, the best player on the pitch so far, finds Madueke, whose cross sails way beyond the far post.
45+1 min We’ll have one additional minute; Bouanga again curls in, and this time, Ebobisse is offside.
45 min Ebobisse turns Tosin, who slips and slides anyway; he’s booked. Free-kick LA, 25 yards out, right of centre.
43 min “If a goal is scored in a forest, but nobody sees it, does it still count as a goal?” wonders Ross McLelland. “Let me know.”
It may just be a dream. This actually happened to me at lord’s on Wednesday, when my eyes were feeling heavy and I was just considering resting them, then Steve Smith got himself out to Aiden Markram and I wasn’t sure if it was reverie or reality.
41 min There’s no sense LA have the wherewithal to get back into this, but as long as it’s 1-0, they’ve a chance. And here they come now, Martinez to Palencia, whose early cross is nodded back into the middle by Bouanga, but Ebobisse slips.
39 min The ref cam is a nice innovation – it gives us a really good sense of the physicality and speed of things.
38 min Ordaz goes off, then Bouanga curls the free-kick into the middle and Sanchez flicks behind; Martinez then comes on.
37 min Oh, Ordaz, having taken a ball to the head, has a problem, and o come the doctors.
36 min A long kick-out from Lloris sets Bouanga at James, who leaps into a challenge, misses the ball, catches Bounaga with his body, and is booked. Naturally, Michael Brown, in co-comms, thinks it’s fine, but LA have a free-kick a yard or two from the by-line, between corner flag and box.
GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 LAFC (Neto 34)
This is beautifully taken. Again, Jackson does really well, taking the ball after Cucurella wins it and slithering along the halfway line before setting Neto away. His first touch is poor, taking him down the line rather than towards goal, but a a lovely chop inside, sending Hollingshead off to Chick-fill-A, opens everything, and he lashes a finish inside the near post to set Chelsea away.
31 min “I saw NUFC play Chelsea in the Mercedes Benz Stadium in 2023,” advises Reuven Fletcher. “It’s a really impressive place, if that’s your sort of thing, the future of top flight ‘match-day experience’ as it becomes increasingly Americanised and commodified. Full of fast food chain restaurants and Americans in the shirts of sides not participating int he game (Arsenal, Man City etc) as they wanted in on the Premier League experience. Some very friendly Atalanta Fans who had come along to support Migeul Almiron, who was at NUFC then, asked if they should support Newcastle. I said just stick with your team, it’s enough.
Give me Filbert Street, Roker Park, The Baseball Ground and the threat of a hiding at the Old Den any day over Chick-fill-A etc personally.”
I agree – intensity and involvement are far more important than sight-lines and legroom, at least for me.
30 min Credit where it’s due, the LAFC fans behind the goal are trying to give this a bit of atmosphere. I always enjoy seeing football culture in different countries, and it’s good to see the rainbow flag waving, likewise the LAFC sombreros.
29 min Cucurella, inverting, finds Palmer who moves out to Neto – he’s been quiet so far – and though his cross is poor, he’s soon back in possession, beating Bouanga and crossing the back post, where Madueke heads wide.
26 min Simon Carson explains the ground design: “It’s because the NFL squads are so large (50+ players of generally enormous size) that the seating has to start higher up, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to see anything. When I went to see a game at Twickenham a few years ago, they blocked out the first few rows of the lower tier for the same reason.”
That makes sense, thanks – though I’m sure I’ve seen the same thing in Europe, and not at the home of the Barcelona Dragons.
25 min A miserable effort from Bouanga who looks to curl in behind, but puts way too much on the ball.
23 min LA break, but a poor pass from Ordaz means the attack breaks down, then James loses out to Delgado and Caicedo fouls Bouanga. That was a little harsh – he stretched a leg around him and won the ball, but here comes a free-kick 25 yards out, left of centre…
22 min The corner ends up with James, on the edge, whose low shot is blocked.
21 min Again Chelsea find Palmer, again he steps inside, opening the angle for the curler, and this time he has a shy, but a deflection sends the ball over the bar.
20 min What is it with these grounds that have lower tiers starting two metres or more above pitch-level? The point of going to the match is to be involved in it, and this deliberately making things less intense. I don’t get it.
18 min Lovely from Jackson, who turns beautifully again then disguises a smart pass that releases Madueke, just outside him, and he zooms on to it and, now one on one, directs a low finish into the keeper’s legs, the Palmer’s follow-up is blocked at source. That’s the best chance so far.
17 min “Has anyone considered the option this whole thing is a ‘Producers’ type gambit by Infantino et al?” wonders Adam Fraser. “It’s so bad I’m starting to think it must be by design … we could be watching Fifa’s shot at Springtime for Hitler.”
15 min Madueke finds space again, nips around the outside of Hollingshead, and slots a cross behind both Jackson and Palmer – though i wonder if, with the former attacking the near post, the latter might’ve dropped the anchors to let the defenders go by and pick up the likely cut-back.
14 min “Given the power you must wield from Guardian towers compared to a lowly common man such as myself, can you please get in touch with Dazn and get to the bottom of their erratic commentary volume?” beseeches Joe Timothy. “It’s really hindering what is a glorious spectacle of the beautiful game played with the values we all know and love.”
13 min The ref stops the game to adjust his equipment, then we go again. Chelsea need their ball-players to attack opposition markers to create space and they work it out to Palmer, who crosses hard, at an inconvenient height, and Madueke can’t control.
11 min A quick, low diag out to Madueke, who takes his eye of the ball, it runs away, and the opportunity to make something happen vanishes.
10 min The pattern appears set, Chelsea on the ball and looking to create, LA massed in front of them.
7 min “I’m not sure it is a choice of two in central midfield for Chelsea,” emails Carl Winder. “I feel like Palmer does his best work coming in from the right where it is less congested, and his drop in form seemed to coincide with him being moved more centrally. If he is moved back to the right you could have Lavia, Caicedo and Fernandez in the middle. I think this would actually give Chelsea more control, which Maresca seems to be looking for.”
Yes, that might work – especially in big games. It doesn’t look creative enough to me, though, and I’m not sure how much control it’d give as Caicedo and Lavia aren’t really passers who pick angles and circulate possession. But I think I see the game very differently to Maresca – after Chelsea’s meek subsidence at Arsenal, where they conceded early and barely tried to equalise, I couldn’t believe his post-match interview in which he seemed legit happy with what he’d seen. I took it up with my uncle, who has a season ticket at Stamford Bridge, and he confirmed it’s all about keeping the ball, rather than creating, which is why Palmer had a much less effective season – he’s maverick and a risk-taker.
5 min There it is: crossfield ball to Bouanga, and there’s James to unload him. Then Chelsea counter with Madueke, who feeds Jackson and, while falling, he improvises a cunning turn but can only scoop his finish into the arms of the Welshman, Lloris.
4 min Clever pass from Palmer, just outside the box, dead centre. Everyone assumed he’s looking to curl one, but instead he slides into Madueke’s path, left side of the box, but his mate wants too much time and is slow getting the ball out of his feet.
2 min LA have started brightly, looking to spread play, but then the move breaks down, Palmer looks to set Jackson away, and the defender does just enough to stop him, though a little more gas and he’s gone.
2 min “Perhaps the reason for the one-at-a-time players’ appearance on to the pitch is so that they can be added to the official attendance?” wonders the returning Justin Kavanagh. “Every little helps.”
I was thinking perhaps they’re letting the crowd in one at a time too.
1 min …and off we go, following a countdown that really sets the pulse racing.
The teams huddle…
The players are coming out one at a time. It really adds to the sense of occasion.
The lights are down, the crowd number at least in the tens, and the game is nearly upon us.
I’m glad the experiment of playing Pedro Neto through the middle has finished. I’m sure it was partly a circumstantial thing, but he’s not a player I want to see on the half-turn, or with back to goal. He needs space and to be facing the opposition goal.
Maresca says he’ll need to rotate, so though Jackson is playing today, he might not start the next game. Though he didn’t think Chelsea could win the league, he does think they can win this competition, which makes sense as it’s a cup, but I’d be pretty surprised. I don’t see a particularly tight defence, nor that many goals, against the better sides.
Better judges than me think Delap could be it, but I’d want to have seen more from him than I have so far. He’s a maybe, for me.
Callum Wilson is in the DAZN studio – good work, his agent – and has already treated us to some exhibiton reflexive pronoun abuse. First, on Bouanga, we were told that “This is a tremendous opportunity for himself,” and just now, taking about James’ injuries, “Myself knows what that feels like.”
I trust yourselves are as excited as myself to see what’s next.
Now Lavia is fit, assuming he stays so, Enzo Maresca will have a decision to make in every game, because he can only pick two of him, Fernandez and Caicedo. I fear the Argentinian may have a problem, his lack of athleticism perhaps set to be the deciding factor.
Email! “This walking-paced, season-leggy tournament feels like Fifa’s version of a methadone clinic offered to ensure that revenues don’t dip during summer’s withdrawal season,” reckons Justin Kavanagh. “It’s on TV here in the USA, but to be honest, no slo-mo circus is going to distract from the pall of totalitarianism that is descending over this country. No amount of laughing gas is going to trump the sting of tear gas. Infantino shouldn’t be whoring out his circus here. Same goes for his World Cup next year.”
Bread and circuses, without the bread.
As for LA, I’m looking forward to seeing Denis Bouanga, their undoubted star man. He may, though, find it difficult against Reece James, a player with all the potential to become the best right-back in the world – if injury leaves him in peace. There’ve been lost of debates in England about whether the national side should deploy Trent Alexander-Arnold or Kyle Walker in that position, but the correct answer is, in fact, neither.
Talking of Chelsea – pick that segue out – they’re more or less as expected. But Roméo Lavia plays, not Enzo Fernandez, and it’s Nicolas Jackson not Liam Delap.
Subs benches longer than starting XIs. I can’t help but think the best way to level the footballing playing field would be fewer, not more, because then clubs wouldn’t be able to stockpile players.
I take some of it back: LAFC have not supplied shirt numbers.
I’m going to write these teams down, then we’ll think about what we might see.
First things first: hold tight LAFC for presenting their team on social media in formation form.
Yes I have seen Beyoncé twice, now that you ask. I can’t say I was totally ready to see Europa League signage at Spurs, but needs must.
Teams!
Chelsea (4-2-3-1): Sanchez; James, Tosin, Colwill, Cucurella; Lavia, Caicedo; Neto, Palmer, Madueke; Jackson. Subs: Jorgensen, Acheampong, Gusto, Chalobah, Badiashile, Sarr, Anselmino, Essugo, Fernandez, Santos, Dewsbury-Hall, George, Nkunku, Delap, Guiu.
LAFC (4-3-3): Lloris; Palencia, Long, Segura, Hollingshead; Tillman, Jesus, Delgado; Ordaz, Ebobisse, Bouanga. Subs: Ochoa, Hasal, Chanot, Tafari, Marlon, Saldaña, Raposo, Dilrosun, Amaya, Holm, Yeboah, Wibowo, Martínez, Giroud.
Preamble
It’s hard to know what to feel here, isn’t it? On the one hand, a confected competition, staged for impure reasons, by men of questionable character, in a country undergoing a fascist takeover, skewing domestic competitive balance yet further, while players trudge through yet more games; on the other hand, FOOTBALL.
LAFC did not qualify for this competition automatically, by winning the Concacaf Champions League; rather, they won a play-in after León, former Concacaf Champions League winners, were disqualified for infringing club ownership structure rules. But here they are so here we are, the fifth-best side in the Western Conference, we’ll never sing that.
Facing them we have none other than the reigning Conference League champions – who, in fairness, did actually win the Champions League to make it into this tournament. And Chelsea are, in various ways, a prime example of the vain, venal, narcissistic decadence it represents … but how exciting might it be if, suddenly, they click?
Kick-off: 3pm local, 8pm BST
