Start by walking faster.
I was standing by the clock at Grand Central Station, waiting for a friend, when I realized that I was getting the death stare from a man in a puffer jacket.
“Can you move out of the way?” he asked once he had my attention. “I need to get a photo of my family here.” I must have made a face because he added, “Is that too much to ask? A photo in front of the American flag?”
Maybe it shouldn’t be too much to ask, no. The trouble is, I see this interaction (being asked to move for someone else’s photo-op) as an example of Accidentally Rude Tourism, which seems to be on the rise these days.
So, in the interest of curbing ART, I put together a little guide to manners when you visit the Big Apple and listed a few ideas for getting off the beaten path when you visit NYC.
The Who, What, Where, and When of Mannerly Tourism
The Who: New York City had almost 65 million visitors in 2024, which included domestic and international tourists. For context, there are 8 million residents in New York City. Inevitably, we get overwhelmed by the sheer number of visitors who come to our city–and our infrastructure is kind of overwhelmed, too.
The first step to good manners is being aware that we are beyond over-crowded. New Yorkers often complain that tourists walk slowly, take up lots of space on staircases, and block the subway doors. The fact is, while you’re on vacation, we’re still living our regular lives. We’re rushing to work, picking up our kids, or dashing out for groceries. So, ahem, we need you to get out of the way.
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A few easy changes like staying to the right on staircases and escalators, getting in and out of subway cars quickly, and moving out of the way of foot traffic when you stop to take a picture–can make a world of difference to locals.
“Pay attention to your surroundings,” advises Edwin, a transit worker stationed in Midtown (he declined to give his last name). “That’s my number one advice to visitors. Just pay attention to where you are and who’s around you.”
The What: What do New Yorkers complain about most? Well, everything–we’re highly skilled at complaining. But near the top of our complaints list is the tendency of visitors to film and photograph all the time.
Take the case of Washington Street, in the Brooklyn neighborhood known as DUMBO. Washington Street boasts one of the most iconic views in New York, and it’s become such a popular photo destination that the local Business Improvement District has put up signs reminding visitors to make space for residents (“Heads up! This is an IRL street!” the signs read).
Nobody likes being treated like B-roll for someone else’s vacation reel. Plus, putting down your camera can improve your mental health, according to psychologists. Dr. Leora Citrin, a psychologist specializing in anxiety, told me that social media has caused a major uptick in FOMO among tourists. In an email, she explained that “there can be an overwhelming pressure to make sure you are constantly capturing the highlights of your trip. The problem is that people tend to worry and focus more on posting for social media purposes than enjoying their trip. The joy and excitement of going away and being on vacation is now met with FOMO, anxiety, stress, and overstimulation.”
Instead, embrace an attitude of mindfulness. Practice awareness of your environment and the people around you. Look for connections wherever possible. Start a conversation, ask a question, or chat with fellow travelers instead of snapping photos. You’ll be happier, and so will the people around you.
The Where: In the old days, tourists visited places like the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, maybe Times Square. Today, visitors also travel en-masse to spots where locals congregate like the New York Public Library.
Staff at the Main Branch have cordoned off the lovely Rose Room, reserving it for research and quiet study, but a tired employee told me that hundreds of visitors still come up to the rope and film the research room every day. “It can be invasive for people trying to read and research, who might not want to be photographed,” she said gently.
The When: Commuters have a similar beef. New York’s public transportation apparently exerts a crumbling, post-industrial charm on many of our visitors. The Staten Island Ferry and the Roosevelt Island tram are particularly popular with tourists, possibly thanks to all the Instagram and TikTok posts featuring these locations.
Unfortunately, many visitors love to ride the tram and the ferry at sunset, which is exactly when most locals are getting out of work and commuting home. Yes, this means you get a great photo at golden hour, but it also means that all the tired New Yorkers who just want to get home and start dinner must fight through a crowd of tourists.
How do we solve this problem? See if you can ride the tram or the ferry at a different time of day, like late morning or mid-afternoon. You won’t face the rush hour crowd, and you’ll have plenty of space to yourself. Also, keep reading for some ideas about getting off the beaten path.
Getting Away From the Crowds
One of the best ways to enjoy New York (and keep the locals happy) is to find new places to explore. Here are a few ideas:
Take a Ride on the Elevated Subway
It’s easy to forget that New York City is more than just Manhattan. Queens, just across the East River from Manhattan, is one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the world, home to countless bustling, energetic communities.
Catch the seven at Times Square and ride it all the way out to the end of the line. The train line goes overground when it crosses into Queens, so you get a great view. Get off in Flushing and eat in any of the Chinese restaurants (or get scallion pancakes and lotus rice from one of the vendors lining Main Street). Walk back under the train, and you’ll pass through Flushing Meadow Park, home to the Unisphere and other architectural oddities left over from the 1964 World Fair. You’ll also pass through Jackson Heights and Corona, two of the best street food neighborhoods in New York.
Try the Brooklyn Public Library
The Park Slope library is one of the prettiest spots in New York City–and it doesn’t have the same crowds as the Manhattan library’s main branch. Take the F train to 7th Avenue, ideally during the afternoon, and admire the branch’s vaulted, stained-glass ceiling and arches. While you’re in the neighborhood, explore Prospect Park, which has a great zoo and a skating rink. Prospect Park was designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, the same man who designed Central Park. Olmstead reportedly liked Prospect Park better and you may, too!
Take the Ferry to Bay Ridge
New York City’s ferry system isn’t limited to Staten Island. For about $3, you can catch a city ferry that will take you up and down the East River from lower Manhattan to southern Brooklyn.
At the tip of Brooklyn, Bay Ridge is a great place to spend an afternoon. Walk along Shore Road, where you can still see a number of mansions built during the mid-19th century. Turn in and walk over to 4th and 5th Avenues, where you’ll find rows of Middle Eastern restaurants, including some of the finest Yemeni food in New York City.
The Charm Offensive
New Yorkers have a reputation for being rude and hostile. Yes, that’s sometimes true. In reality, though, we’re usually a friendly bunch. We just resent being treated like the backdrop to someone else’s holiday.
You can win almost all of us over with very little effort. Smile, tell us that you like our city, and ask us a few questions. Or tell us about wherever you’re from. Share some local stories, tell us about your culture and your food. If we have the time, we’ll listen and believe we’re on a holiday of our own.
