‘The Bachelor’ recap: Grant and his final 3 head to the Fantasy Suites

Pop quiz, rose lovers: What does The Bachelor’s Fantasy Suite episode have in common with a Karadashian’s face? They’re both loaded with filler!

Let’s recap!

This week, Grant’s “journey” takes him and his final three — Litia, Juliana, and Zoe — to the (promotional consideration provided by) Secrets Tides Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. The Bachelor considers the D.R. his “second home,” since he is part Dominican and visited the sovereign island state many times during his basketball career. “This is the perfect place to get engaged!” Grant announces dutifully.

While the Bachelor plays some two-on-two with host Jesse Palmer and some locals, Juliana preps for her overnight date by talking to a woman who’s been through it before. Please welcome… Daisy!

Awww, she’s just plain adorable. Juliana explains anxiety about her upcoming date, specifically that she won’t be the only one going to the Fantasy Suites with Grant. “The last time I was in a long-term relationship, there was, like, infidelity,” she says. “It really made me so nervous to let people in.” Man, there truly is nothing the Bachelor producers like more than casting women who have been cheated on before. Anyhow, Daisy does her best to calm Juliana’s nerves. She says that during her overnight date with Joey, she “started Opening Up™,” and that “changed everything for me… I look back on it, and I don’t regret a thing.”

You hear that, Juliana? It’s time to go all-in, heartbreak be damned. Now, head to the jungle and meet your man for some off-roading!

After their messy ride, Juliana tells a mud-spattered Grant that he has “all the characteristics of a man that I’d want in my future,” but it’s “scary” that he’s still dating other women. The Bachelor understands, but he tries to assure Juliana. “I think about you a lot,” he says. “It’s scary for me, too.”

The conversation continues along those same lines that night. Since Grant and Juliana are obviously not going to touch any of the food, producers don’t even bother to give them a fake dinner. They get a measly fruit-and-cheese plate instead.   

Juliana uses this time to tell Grant even more about her past relationship, specifically that the guy she was dating cheated on her “time and time again” for over six years. “That did a lot of damage to me,” she continues, choking up. “It’s such a challenge to go from feeling, like, so minimized in somebody’s life. That just screwed me up so bad. I’m, like, a little broken, and I’m still working to, like, fix myself.”

Grant wipes away her tears as she talks and even sheds some tears himself. “Everybody’s broken up,” he says. “I have parts of me that are broken, too… That’s what love is for, because it fixes you.” Okay, that’s sweet. “Somebody messed up, letting you down,” Grant adds. “I’m scared of getting hurt, too, but I’m not scared to take the lead.” And with that…

LOLOL, it kills me that this franchise insists on pretending that hotels still use those old-timey skeleton keys.

Cut to the next morning. Grant and Juliana cuddle in bed for a bit and then head outdoors for breakfast. “I feel good,” says Juliana, as Grant digs into his plate of eggs, avocado, toast, and sausage. “We got a lot of questions answered. Said a lot of things. Had a lot of fun… I’m just going to hold on to last night for a while, until I see you again.”

Good plan, ma’am! Try to stay positive, because the Bachelor just left for his next date.

But first, some more filler. You didn’t think Juliana was going to be the only one to have a heart-to-heart with a past Bachelor contestant, did you? Please welcome… Rachel!

Ugh, she’s just too gorgeous. Is she still single? If so, get this woman on Paradise, stat!

Rachel meets with Zoe; they both had “the least amount of time” with the Bachelor at this point in the season. Though she remembers “spiraling” over her lack of time when going into her Fantasy Suite date with Joey, Rachel encourages Zoe to “go in there, ask your questions, babe, but also enjoy it… Go in knowing, ‘I’m an amazing woman.’” Good advice!

When it comes time for the date, however, Zoe seems to have a little trouble with the “enjoy it” part — and I can’t blame her. After meeting Grant on a hillside, he explains to her that they will not be able to talk during their date activity. “That’s not really my idea of getting intimate with one another,” admits Zoe. “So I’m a little concerned.”

You should be, ma’am! Not only will you and Grant be doing yoga in what seems to be 100 percent humidity, your instructors will remain completely silent, and you won’t be allowed to speak to each other during the class, either. (Is this really a thing? I’ve gone to countless yoga classes in my life, and none of them barred talking.) Have fun, you two!

“The first thing I was thinking was, ‘Don’t fart,’” admits Grant. He continuously breaks the no-talking rule, whispering to Zoe throughout the class, and gets scolded at least once by the female instructor. Zoe, meanwhile, is powering through. “I’m doing moves that are uncomfortable, my hair’s all over the place, so I can’t really say this is my forte,” she says. Still, Zoe does her best to have fun, and eventually they both relax more. “There’s a positive energy that’s there between us,” says Grant. Still, Zoe is a little anxious about how little time they have left, so she’s hoping they can have more “deep conversations” at dinner.

The Bachelor kicks things off by telling Zoe how impressed he was by her during their hometown date. “I saw how you were around your people and your friend, and I was like, ‘Wow.’ I saw a wife,” he gushes. Zoe’s happy to hear that, but she’s also concerned that she just doesn’t know that much about him. Grant proceeds to fill her in on his childhood — how his father struggled with addiction and his mother was constantly working, how he spent a lot of time alone contemplating his family’s “brokenness,” and so on. “What I want is a wife to spend my time with and share my emotions with,” Grant continues. “That’ll be a priority for me.”

Zoe can relate. She needs a partner who can give her security and can “build an empire” with. I don’t see a ton of chemistry between these two, but they do seem to have similar relationship priorities. You know what that means, rose lovers!

No molestar, y’all!

The next morning, Zoe and Grant have a picnic on the beach and reflect on their night together. (It’s interesting that we don’t see them cuddling in bed together. It just reinforces my feeling that they don’t have much sexual chemistry.) “We really dove deep into, like, similarities and how we view things, and how those issues in our childhood kind of molded us and shaped us,” says Grant. “I’m happy that we had that talk.”

Two down, one to go!

Litia is the last finalist to have her Fantasy Suite date, which is particularly tough for her because she’s so stressed out about Grant being “intimate” with two other women. Maybe the “winner” of The Bachelor season 22 can help with that. Please welcome… Kaity!

Wow, I almost didn’t recognize her with brown hair. Anyhow, Kaity knows all about Fantasy Suite angst. As she explains to Litia, during her season of The Bachelor, Zach went into Fantasy Suites week insisting that he wasn’t going to have sex with anyone. And Kaity, who had her date last as well, fully believed that Zach would keep his word. But he didn’t! “Thirty minutes into our date, he tells me that he got intimate with another woman,” she tells Zoe. “It just, like, hit me like a ton of bricks.”

Looking back, Kaity wishes she had explicitly told Zach that she didn’t want to hear anything about the other dates — so that’s the advice she gives Zoe now. “Just get to know each other with all the lights, all the cameras gone,” says Kaity. “This is when you’re going to have these raw, candid conversations.”

Hope you’re ready to flex those compartmentalizing muscles, Litia! It’s time to meet your sweaty man. Grant says he wants to see Litia’s “adventurous side” on today’s date — but no, they are not bungee jumping, thank the lord. Instead, they’ll be ziplining, which is a lot less terrifying. Still, Litia is not LOVING it.

She reluctantly puts on the harness and helmet and starts climbing up the rickety metal staircase to the zipline platform. “This doesn’t feel safe,” Litia frets. That’s why they make you sign a “you can’t sue if you die” waiver, girl! “I’m not one to barf on dates,” says Litia. “But he might see my lunch.”

Litia manages to do one zipline, which leaves her feeling “a little bit naush.” She tells the Bachelor that she’s got one more zipline in her, because her stomach is just not cooperating. Is she nauseous from the zipline or from thinking about Grant having sex with two other women? No one knows! Maybe she can sort things out with Grant in a more stationary environment.

Champagne and nausea probably aren’t the best combination, but maybe that’s why the glasses are empty. During their chat, we learn that Grant asked Litia’s family if she’d ever be willing to live somewhere other than Utah — and her answer is yes. The Bachelor is happy to hear that, because he wants to be near his father as he goes through his recovery journey in New Jersey. “I think we’ll figure it out,” says Litia. In fact, she’s feeling great about everything, except… the sex stuff. “Physical intimacy is not something I think I’m ready for,” she tells us. “I’m just worried about how he’ll react.”

Let’s flash-forward to dinner, so we can find out!

Grant starts the conversation by asking Litia what her “timeline” is for settling down and having kids. Because she’s 31, Litia says she wants to start building a family in about two years. “It only gets tougher to have kids the older that I get,” she explains. Still, the “most important” thing is a “solid foundation” in her marriage. Though he doesn’t say it to Litia on camera, Grant confesses to us that this two-year timeline is “a lot faster” than what he had in mind. Of course, he knows that it’s important to compromise for people you love — so this isn’t a dealbreaker.

Taking Kaity’s advice, Litia lets Grant know that she doesn’t want to hear anything about his overnight dates with the other women. The Bachelor is all, No problem! Here’s the Fantasy Suite date card! And that’s when Litia makes her big announcement:

“I just have to make choices that will help me kind of protect my peace,” Litia explains. “So, sex is just, like, not on the table for me.” Grant is a gentleman, so he respects her decision, but I did laugh out loud at the look on his face when she first said it:

But I’m burying the lede, rose lovers. Grant follows this up by dropping an even bigger bombshell: “I can see you as my wife, because I do love you.” Holy crap! I thought if he was going to say it to anyone, he’d say it to Juliana first. And it’s only the second time he’s ever said “I love you” to anyone. Litia is just as surprised as I am.

And yes, she says it back. They smooch some more and then head to the Fantasy Suite.

Morning comes, and we see Grant and Litia sharing some breakfast in bed. Though it’s been a good night, the Bachelor is starting to have some regrets about saying “I love you” to Litia. “I feel like maybe I should have waited a little longer,” he admits in his confessional. “I do love her, but I also am falling hard, if not very close to in love with somebody else… Do I stop here? Do I pick Litia now? Or do I continue to pursue the other woman I have really strong feelings for?”

I think we all know who that other woman is, rose lovers, so let’s just skip ahead to the culling of the potential wives.

Rose ceremony roll call! Our final two are… Litia and Juliana.

Love the camaraderie, ladies. So sorry, Zoe, but your “journey” ends here — as I’m pretty sure you knew it would. After Litia and Juliana whisper congratulations to each other, Zoe hugs them both goodbye and then heads out front with Grant to the Bye-Bye Bench.

“This is very hard for me, and I apologize,” says Grant. Though a few tears escape and slide down her cheeks, Zoe maintains her composure as she tells the Bachelor that she’s “grateful” for their time together. “I am genuinely excited for you to find that woman,” she adds, before climbing into the Reject SUV.

There are still a few minutes left in the episode, somehow. We rejoin Grant the morning after the rose ceremony, and he’s feeling “conflicted” and stressed out. So, he dons a pink shirt with weird fuzzy gold stars on it and marches straight into the waiting arms of his loving family: His mom, Renee, his dad, Robert, and his sister, Taylor.

“We’re here to help you and support you, son,” says Robert.

That’s good, sir, because your boy is freaking out. “I’ve never been this indecisive,” frets Grant. “One minute I’m here, the next minute I’m there — I’m not like that! So, stay tuned for my demise.”

Don’t worry, Grant — we will!

One more week, rose lovers. Do you think Litia has it on lock, or does Juliana still have a chance? If Grant does choose one over the other, how do you think the “winner” is going to feel when she watches how conflicted he was in the final days? And has anyone out there ever heard of silent yoga? Post your thoughts below!

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.