I grew up in a family consisting entirely of blue collar workers and artists. My parents got divorced when I was 2, and my mom remarried again when I was 9. None of my parents or stepparents were ever particularly interested or concerned with my grades or academic success, and since I excelled in art, writing, and dance, it was always expected I would pursue the arts and take a less traditional path. I wanted to wait to go to school but my mom pushed me to choose something after I graduated, so I ended up taking a special effects makeup diploma program and left my hometown shortly after graduating. My stepdad very generously paid my tuition, and I contributed about $10,000 for material fees. I left the industry a long time ago and do feel guilty that I never went anywhere with my limited education, but I am happy with the career path I’m on now.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I had a very dysfunctional upbringing overall and money was a really big focus for everyone from the time I was about 6 years old. My parent’s divorce and the subsequent child support payments were a sore spot for my dad, and he started talking to my brother and I very early on about his financial troubles and debt. He frequently told us he regretted having children because of the financial toll it took on him, and while I love him and our relationship is better now, this resulted in me struggling to ask for or accept any type of help, and I’ve dug myself into many financial holes due to the feelings of shame. Similarly, my mom would inadvertently make me feel guilty for needing things growing up, and made it clear I was on my own for any purchases outside of food, shelter, and my dance education (which, to her credit, was expensive). I started paying for my own clothing, school supplies, and hygiene products when I was 13, but I didn’t have a way to make an income at that point, so I sometimes went without. I want to make it very clear that I do acknowledge my privilege in having my school and extracurriculars paid for while I was growing up, but it was difficult for me to have to pay for my basic needs as a child and I’m still unlearning a lot of things that both of my parents taught me.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started teaching preschool ballet when I was 16, but I didn’t earn very much. When I graduated high school and stopped dancing full time, I started working at Marshalls and Starbucks — this was to afford my basic needs and pay for car insurance and gas.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes, every second of every day. Money has always been a huge source of stress for me, and part of me has always felt like my parents struggled financially because they chose to have me. The worry piled on when I had to start paying for my own essentials in middle school as well.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I know I should worry more, especially with my boyfriend’s debt, but I can’t really bring myself to worry too much about the future outside of feeling guilty about the purchases I make. I think my upbringing affected the way I view personal finances, and outside of what I’ve already mentioned, caused me a lot of mental health issues that take precedence over worrying about my financial future. I want to be able to visualize a future that I care enough about to invest in financially, but it’s hard.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
In some ways I’ve kind of always felt financially responsible for myself. Aside from paying for my own expenses as I’ve already mentioned, I was completely on my own as soon as I moved out at 18 and started going to school. I worked five days a week and attended school full time, but Vancouver is expensive and minimum wage didn’t stretch very far. At this point in my life my parents are much more financially stable and we’ve repaired a lot of our relationship so I know if I really needed it they would try to help, but honestly, I don’t think I would ever ask.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No. I will inherit my father’s farmland, but I am unsure of its valuation.
