“My former mother-in-law showed up in my hospital room within 30 minutes of me pushing out my fifth daughter and told me, ‘It’s a shame she’s a girl.’” — Angela LaRoche
“On the birth of my second son, the very first thing my mother-in-law said to me was, ‘What a shame it’s not a girl.’” — Lor Raine
7. Expecting to be catered to like a guest.
“My father flew to the hospital on my ex’s flight privileges, had my ex bring him to the hospital, then got mad at me for not being able to help his then-girlfriend find a place to stay for the night when she flew in. We haven’t spoken since.” — Dinelle Sieradzki
“[They] expected to be treated like guests in my home while I was sleepless and in pain after a C-section. I had twins and was learning how to nurse for the first time. [They] expected to be waited on, cleaned up after. [They] couldn’t stand/walk to get a baby, and didn’t remember how to change or burp a baby — so my husband or I had to do all of that, too. We didn’t need company or an audience, we needed help and compassion… or to be left alone so I could be topless and medicated.” — Katie Hodge
8. Doubting a new parent’s abilities.
“I led a new mother’s group in Chicago. I had one new mom tearfully describe her own mother telling her that she knew her baby better than the new mom did. New moms are so vulnerable; this was heartbreaking.” — Lisa Ellis Kappel
9. Pretending nothing is different.
“While I was lying in a hospital bed 10-plus hours deep into labor, I received a text about another family member’s hotel accommodations (I worked hotels at the time) and nothing else. No ‘How are you?’ No ‘Hello.’ Nothing.” — Katia Rodriguez
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
