When you think about the last time someone suggested you “look on the bright side,” what was your reaction? It’s not always easy to observe the glass as half full when challenges arise. However, according to a new study published by Frontiers of Psychology, “lemonading”—or “creatively imagining and pursuing positive possibilities to cultivate adaptive, enjoyable experiences while maintaining a clear-eyed realism about challenges”—can help us thrive in our lives.
And it’s not just research that agrees with the findings of “lemonading”—psychologists do, too. “People who are more playful tend to see obstacles as opportunities for growth and fun, and they are able to be really imaginative in coming up with creative solutions for difficult situations,” says Mirjam Quinn, licensed clinical psychologist. “Possibly because of this thinking style, where obstacles are opportunities, and this action-oriented coping style, playful people tend to lemonade when life gets hard.” If you have a hard time balancing a positive attitude with the challenging feats of life, then lemonading might be the strategy you need.
- Mirjam Quinn, Chicago-based licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in mindfulness and positive psychology
- Dr. Rostislav Ignatov, board-certified psychiatrist and the chief medical officer at The Haven Detox
What Is Lemonading, Really?
“Lemonading is a mindset that works to creatively reframe hurdles into an opportunity that presents avenues for growth and collaboration,” explains Dr. Rostislav Ignatov, board-certified psychiatrist. “Such concepts stem from the field of positive psychology, and its roots can be traced back to the old adage of ‘making lemonade out of lemons,’ but seems to be gaining traction these days as more people look to find happiness in a chaotic life.”
It’s important to note that lemonading is not the same as toxic positivity, Quinn says. “Where toxic positivity pretends that a hardship isn’t there, isn’t a big deal, or doesn’t matter so much, lemonading requires acknowledging the hardship, allowing space for tough emotions like sadness or fear that come along with that hardship, and then saying, ‘OK, what resources do I have available to navigate this, and what are some creative solutions that might not be obvious for moving through this?’” With lemonading, playfulness is at the heart of dealing with life’s toughest challenges. Even though we’re frequently taught to grow into responsible adults, being playful doesn’t make you any less of an adult—if fact, it may actually help you cope.
The Impact of Lemonading
“As a society, we place such a premium on productivity that people often think of play as an indulgence, something that should be the very last thing on their to-do list,” Quinn explains. “If you think about how packed schedules are even for grade schoolers—it’s hard to be thoughtful about creating and protecting space for play, when all these external factors are pushing you to give away all your time to pursuits that have an end result—a promotion, a better grade, an impressive resume, a six-pack, a seven-minute mile that society tells you is so valuable.” But when we start to move away from these traditional structures of life, we find that being our playful, silly, and authentic selves is much more fulfilling.
“Playfulness serves as a reset button for a person psychologically,” Dr. Ignatov agrees. “It eases our jaw, takes the stress away, allowing the creativity to flow through the brain. As a society, we tend to shy away from playfulness, seeing it as immature and unproductive, and this limitation hinders the ability to appreciate the solutions brought forth and also to enjoy life.” If we haven’t sold you yet, read on for some practical ways to apply the concept of lemonading to your life.
How to Practice Lemonading
Gratitude Journal
Gratitude journaling is one of the simplest ways to acknowledge what’s going right in your life, Quinn says. “Writing down four specific things helps our brain form the new connections that you need to start noticing the good things in life that are always present—even in the midst of the greatest hardships.” So rather than noting something more generic like “my family,” Quinn suggests getting more specific: for example, something like “today my teenager asked to hug me.”
Practice Playing
When it comes to lemonading, things shouldn’t be done in hopes of reaching a new goal—instead, it should simply focus on what sparks joy. “Play could be going for a run because it’s fun to move your body, not because you’re trying to get your 10,000 steps that day,” Quinn suggests. “Play could be doing a craft or baking bread or cooking a dish if that feels fun, or dancing in your kitchen to that song you loved in college.”
Find Humor in the Everyday
It’s easy to laugh less when our life circumstances become stressful. But it’s in these moments when laughter is most essential, Dr. Ignatov says. “Try your best to calmly accept rough patches and search for the most amusing part that lingers within those challenges,” he suggests. “Understanding and humor make it easier to cope with problems.” While not every situation has something to laugh about, you’d be surprised how many do.
Build a Strong Community
Friendships make us who we are, and they can also help us survive some of life’s greatest hardships. “I know people who have met their best friends in grief groups, or who have created incredibly successful careers as a result of something hard that happened,” Quinn says. “There is incredible value in creating community with those who are ahead of you in the process of moving through something hard (because we can learn from them) as well as with those who are behind us (because we can gain self confidence and meaning from helping others).”
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