Late-night hosts discussed America’s “monarchy era” as Donald Trump and Elon Musk attempt to dismantle government regulations and oversight.
Jon Stewart
“Well, it’s been a good run, America,” said Jon Stewart on Monday’s Daily Show, after surveying all of the moves by Donald Trump and Elon Musk to unilaterally cut funding, shutter government agencies and otherwise bend power to their will. “It looks like we’re becoming less like the constitutional republic it’s been for 250 years and more like the monarchy that we all fought to escape from.”
With the mention of monarchy, Stewart was interrupted by John Oliver, former Daily Show correspondent and famously British commentator for Last Week Tonight.
“I’m here to gloat,” Oliver said. “America had its little fun, didn’t you, in experimenting with democracy? You fought so hard to get away from us. Acting up, throwing all that tea into the harbor. You still owe us for that, by the way.
“You told everybody that you were gonna be different,” he continued. “You weren’t gonna turn out like your mean old dad, who was so horrible to you when you were growing up. So we sat back. We let you spend your wild teen years experimenting with your ridiculous ideas of checks and balances, because deep down we knew that once you got that nonsense out of your system, you’d be back.
“Let me be the first to welcome America to its monarchy era,” he added.
Stewart attempted to interject, and explain that America would not accept the imperial model. “Oh really?” Oliver laughed. “Have you seen anything America’s done over the last 50 years? Because for a country that doesn’t want to be an empire, you’re doing a pretty fucking good impression of one right now.
“Invasions, economic exploitations, and now suggesting turning Gaza into a beachfront casino?” he added. “Even King George would have been like, ‘I don’t know, guys. Feels like the situation’s a bit more complicated than that, and I’m literally dying of medieval brain disease.’”
Oliver was persuasive enough for Stewart to have a depressing realization: “We really have become our father.”
“Don’t be sad about it,” Oliver replied in consolation. “The arc of history is so long it eventually becomes a circle – and you end up right where you started.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers speculated that Donald Trump had, uncharacteristically, no issue with Elon Musk becoming the central figure of his presidency. “He knows Elon Musk is the richest guy on the planet, and that he spent almost $300m to get him elected and save his ass from jail,” Meyers said. “And now Elon is taking an axe to the same government Trump tried to overthrow, a government that would otherwise regulate all the shady shit Trump and his family do to make money.
“Why wouldn’t Trump be happy?” he continued. “He doesn’t have to be the bad guy. When people get mad and say, ‘You can’t cut cancer research and education funding, Trump can just say, ‘Hey, that’s Elon.’”
Asked by Fox News about a federal judge blocking Musk’s ”department of government efficiency” (Doge) from accessing government payment and data systems, Trump defended his lieutenant: “He’s not gaining anything. In fact, I wonder how he can devote the time to it, he’s so into it.”
Meyers disagreed: “Of course, the richest man in the world, who owns a social media company, and a car company, and a medical device company, and a rocket company, and has defense contract with the US and business relationships with China, has a lot to gain from gutting financial oversight and accessing the US payment system,” he fumed. “You think you can just launch a rocket into space without going through some government red tape?”
Musk has especially targeted the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, created after the 2008 financial crisis to protect citizens from financial scams. “How can it be any more obvious?” Meyers laughed. “This is like getting hired as a bank teller and then saying, ‘You know, I think we should get rid of the security cameras, and it’s cold in here, so I’m going to start wearing a ski mask to work.’”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel recapped a pretty boring Super Bowl, in which the Philadelphia Eagles blew out the Kansas City Chiefs, 40-22. “You almost had to feel sorry for the Chiefs, as weird as that sounds,” he said. “Not only did they get blown out, they got blown out on Tubi, of all places. It’s never a good sign when the most dramatic part of a Super Bowl game is Harrison Ford talking about his Jeep.
“To me, the best part was listening to Tom Brady pretend that he was not ecstatic about Patrick Mahomes not winning Super Bowl number four,” he added. “The happiest Goat is a lonely Goat.”
Taylor Swift didn’t have a good night, either – her boyfriend lost, and Eagles fans booed her when she was shown on the jumbotron. Of course, Trump took the opportunity to make it about himself, posting on Truth Social: “She got BOOED out of the Stadium. MAGA is very unforgiving!”
“Well, she didn’t get booed out of the stadium – unlike you, she stayed for the whole game,” Kimmel corrected. “And it was the Eagles fans that were booing her. But you’re right, it’s all about you, it’s always all about you.
“Trump’s just jealous of Taylor Swift because she has more followers and more money and no kids than he does,” he added.
