The U.S. is looking like the ‘Jake Paul of nations,’ Jon Stewart says on ‘The Daily Show’

The U.S. is picking fights with good allies, Jon Stewart warned on Monday’s The Daily Show.

“The EU? Canada? Do we have any friends? I mean, Mexico — again, Trump’s been hate-f—ing Mexico pretty much since the escalator — that’s the truth,” Stewart said of President Donald Trump’s announced plans to set a tariff on goods imported from certain countries.

“But Canada? Ca-na-da?” Stewart asked incredulously. “We’re picking a fight with our most reliable and pleasant friend, the labradoodle of allies? But I guess that’s Trump-tough. You know what I mean? You gotta walk in the prison yard, walk right up to one guy who really doesn’t seem to be a problem at all and just yeah. ‘Take that, best friend! — who has willingly signed up to fight in every ridiculous war we’ve ever gotten into.’ Let that be a lesson to the rest of the world: We are a terrible friend.”

“Denmark, Panama, and Canada! We’re America,” he continued. “We used to fight the Nazis. Now we’re scouring the globe for easy marks? What are we like the Jake Paul of nations?” 

Stewart also took issue with the Democrats’ choice of statesman to counter President Trump’s more incredible statements and actions.

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“This trade war has awoken a sleeping giant,” Stewart cautioned. “Not Canada. Not Mexico, but the Democratic minority Senate leader: Release the Schumer!”

The show then ran a clip of Sen. Chuck Schumer warning of the result of trade sanctions against Mexico: “It’s going to affect beer, okay? Most of it, Corona here comes from Mexico. It’s going to affect your guac, because what is guacamole made of? Avocados.”

Conceding that Americans might be swayed by a more expensive Super Bowl dip, Stewart still had a problem with the messenger.

“Democrats, can you please stop f—ing trotting Schumer out there every time Trump traverses into the unreal? He’s not good at this,” Stewart pleaded. “What is the decision-making process of: ‘Hey? Who should we get out there to effectively battle one of the most savvy presidential media manipulators in history?’ ‘Well, I don’t know, how about Schumer? He’s uninteresting, but at least he’s monotone.’ ‘Oh wait, and Chuck, before you go out there; you look too young, put on these readers and lower them on your nose. Perfect’? Honestly, listening to Chuck Schumer speak on almost any topic makes me want to go bomb Canada.”