My Friends Always Say I Give the Best Gifts—Here’s My Secret

Gift giving, to me, is like a competitive sport. It’s not that I care so much about “winning,” but I do care about giving it my all and trying my best to come up with good, thoughtful gifts that people will actually appreciate. I also believe that, like any sport, the more work you put in (in this case, planning ahead, paying attention, taking notes, doing research, etc.) the better results you’ll get. And while I know that some people think they’re just naturally bad at giving gifts, I really do believe that practice can make the process feel like second nature.

So, if you struggle every year to come up with good gift ideas, don’t throw in the towel just yet. As someone who takes pride in being a skilled gift giver (you can verify this with my friends and family), there are a handful of things I do to find gifts that are almost guaranteed to be well-received. Here are some of my best tips for coming up with special and thoughtful gift ideas—because your loved ones deserve it.

Use Your Notes App

Whether you’re shopping for a birthday, anniversary, Christmas gift, or something else, it’s never too early to start coming up with (and saving) ideas. I recommend keeping a running list in the notes app on your phone to keep track of ideas for different people in your life. Anytime you think, “That’d be a good gift for Mom,” or hear a friend talking about something they really like, need, or wish they had, you can just quickly add that to your list under their name. You can also add a section for just general good gift ideas, not tied to particular people, that might help when you need a gift for anything from a housewarming to a work party. This way, whenever a gifting opportunity comes up, you can refer back to your list. Even if the ideas you wrote down are no longer relevant or aren’t quite right, it really helps to start the brainstorming process.

This will also help you remember things that you would otherwise forget. I can’t even say how many times I’ve thought about the perfect gift idea but didn’t write it down (thinking I would never forget such an obvious and perfect idea), and then later the memory was lost for good.

Make a List of Their Favorite Things

If you don’t have any ideas saved up, I would start by thinking about the person you need a gift for and making a list of some things they really love. Instead of specific items or products, think about bigger categories, like music, sports, theater, animals, shopping, cooking, or even a particular TV show or celebrity. Then, think about something you might be able to get them to help them enjoy that thing—or even help them show the world that they enjoy that thing.

For example, if someone is a huge fan of a particular movie or TV show, maybe you can find them a unique piece of merch tied to that movie or show. (I’d only recommend this, however, if that person is someone who tends to be into wearing or displaying merch.) If the gift recipient is a music fan and you know some of their favorite artists, you could gift them a record, a vintage band T-shirt, or even a book that’s about one of their favorite artists or bands. If the person is really into cooking, think about ideas for cookware they might need, a cookbook by a chef they like, a cooking class they’ll want to take, or high-quality ingredients they may not buy for themselves. Any of these ideas will show the person that you worked to find them a gift specifically for them, and not just a “copy and paste” gift idea for anyone.

Do Some Light Stalking

Despite how it may sound, social media stalking can be used for good—like coming up with personalized gift ideas. If you’re at a complete loss for what to get someone, and if that someone is an active social media user, I recommend taking a few minutes to scroll through the list of the accounts they’re following. Look for names of accounts with blue checks and take note of certain brands, designers, chefs, or celebrities they’re following. Then, go to some of those pages and see if the person you’re gifting for has been actively liking and engaging with those accounts’ content. If yes, this is when you can start collecting ideas. Maybe they liked a post about a new cookbook their favorite Instagram chef has out, or a new beauty line a celebrity announced, or a necklace from a jewelry brand they follow. All of these could become potential gift ideas.

Buy Vintage and Antique Items

Perhaps one of the easiest “hacks” for finding unique, one-of-a kind gifts that feel extra special is to gift vintage or antique items. (Now, if you’re gifting for someone who really isn’t into secondhand items, you should probably skip this recommendation altogether.) But, if you have a general idea for the gift but nothing you’re finding feels special enough, I highly recommend going the vintage route. For example, if you want to gift someone a nice vase for their home, you may have more luck finding something unique and specific to their decor style by expanding your search to the world of antiques.

Plus, simply gifting someone something vintage shows that you put in extra time and thought, since it typically requires a bit more work than simply buying something from a retailer online.

Don’t Discredit the Practical Gifts

Socks have gotten a bad reputation over the years as an impersonal gift. However, I personally am always in need of more socks and I’ve even asked for them as a gift in the past. That’s all to say that I don’t think practical gifts are bad gift ideas at all; you just need to know your audience. For example, if you know that the person you’re gifting for is someone who would prefer a more flashy, exciting, and special gift, then maybe don’t gift them socks or a gift card.

However, if you’re gifting for the type of person who always says they don’t need anything and don’t want any more “clutter,” then a practical gift could be the perfect choice. Think about pain points in their life and then think about gifts that could make those things easier. For example, are they always complaining about pet hair around the house? Maybe you can find them a tool that makes cleaning up pet hair way easier. Are they always complaining about how expensive laundry detergent is? Maybe you head to Costco and get them a bulk supply of a detergent you know they like, which will last for an entire year.

Practical, unflashy gifts can sometimes be the perfect way to say, “I care about you,” and, “I want to make your life easier.”

Gift a Service

Another way to make someone’s life easier is to gift them a service that will do exactly that. For busy, new parents who are struggling to keep their house in order, gifting a cleaning service could be a huge help. For someone who’s been extra stressed out or is going through a hard time in their life, gifting a massage could be a really sweet way to invest in their self-care. For someone who just moved into a new place and needs help on home projects, you could gift them a credit to a service like Taskrabbit to help them check some items off their to-do list. Oftentimes, people don’t treat themselves to services like this, so that makes these ideas perfect options for gifts.

Think About Their Goals

If the person you’re gifting for has recently declared a goal to learn a new skill or start a new hobby—then you’ve got the perfect base material for gift ideas. For example, a couple years ago, I decided I wanted to start learning piano and I bought myself a keyboard. That year for Christmas, my mom gifted me some beginner learning materials for playing the piano. While I have to admit I haven’t made that much progress on my keyboard, the gift from my mom meant a lot because it showed that she was invested in me, my interests, and my growth.

Think About Yourself

Sometimes, we get so stuck on trying to find the perfect gift for a particular person that we forget to ask the more basic question: What makes a good gift? If you have no idea what to get someone, turn the attention back on yourself and start making a list of all the best gifts you’ve ever received. Then, ask yourself: What did you like about those gifts? Was it the gift itself or the thought behind it that really stuck with you? What are the gifts that you still use and appreciate to this day? The answers you come up with could lead you to the perfect gift idea for someone else, too.