How to Get Rid of Gifts You Don’t Want to Keep—Without Feeling Guilty

True confession: I have a hard time letting go of a lot of things in my house—but the ones that make me feel the guiltiest are gifts. Especially if the gift givers are people near and dear to me.

Yes, I held onto a dress my husband gave me for years, even though it was too fancy for our young-parents lifestyle and I—ahem—outgrew it before night-on-the-town dates became a thing for us again. And I may have one or two (or 10) tattered little crafts around the house that my kids made with their preschooler hands.

So maybe, like me, you’re looking for ways to get rid of these gifts that are cluttering up your life, without feeling guilty about it. (Remember, you’re getting rid of the gift, not the love that came with it!) Fortunately, we turned to the experts—a pro organizer and an etiquette expert—for advice on how to give away the gifts without the guilt.

How to Stop the Gift Guilt

The big barrier to getting rid of these types of gifts is the guilt you feel, when it’s clear someone you love put thought and effort into giving you something they thought you’d love. But there are ways to help yourself get over that.

Understand why you’re feeling conflicted about getting rid of the gift

There can be a number of reasons why you don’t want to let go of gifts, even if they aren’t really working for you and you’re not really using them.

It could be that you’re feeling sentimental and are attaching the emotions you feel for the gift recipient to the actual object (like so many of us holding onto those kid-crafted gifts). But it may also be a sense of duty. “We see many clients feel obligated to keep gifts they were given from other people,” says Jamie Hord, founder of organization site Horderly. “It’s mainly because they think that person will ask for that item if they were to come over, and they don’t want an awkward situation where they have to tell them that they got rid of the item.”

And of course, there’s always the concern for the other person’s feelings. “People fear hurting someone’s feelings, which is a good thing,” says Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol. “But we also cannot inconvenience ourselves for the sake of not hurting someone else’s feelings.”

Put yourself in their shoes

Turn the tables and consider how you’d feel if a gift you gave wasn’t their speed. As one poster on a recent Reddit thread about gift guilt said, the people you love aren’t going to want you to feel bad. “I realized my friends wouldn’t want me to feel burdened by a gift I no longer want,” says Footstepsinthedark1. “If I gave a friend a gift, I wouldn’t want them to feel burdened by it either. It’s not their job to keep it simply because I gave it to them.” Thinking of it that way may help you let go of the guilt.

The Best Ways to Let Go of a Gift You Don’t Want

There are a number of different ways you can ensure that the gift doesn’t go to waste—or end up collecting dust in your home.

Ask about returning or exchanging the item

The easiest hit-or-miss gifts to let go of are ones that were recently purchased from the store—and it’s best to do that a very short time after you receive the gift. If the gift doesn’t fit your style, you might be able to request a gift receipt from the giver and return it for a refund or exchange. (And if you’re asked why, a vague “it doesn’t really suit me” works just fine, but a little white lie like “it didn’t fit” also isn’t going to cause a kerfuffle.)

Consider regifting—carefully

If you’re looking to regift something, Swann suggests a few rules to ensure that it’s done gracefully and guilt-free. First, be absolutely sure that the person you gift it to will be someone who will cherish it. (You don’t want to just pass on the guilt and the “what do I do with it?” to someone else!) And second, it’s best to gift it to someone who isn’t in the same circle of friends and family as the original gift giver. For instance, you don’t want to regift something your sister gave you to your cousin, or bring the same gift back to the next book club holiday party.

If it’s something super sentimental that you want to regift—like an heirloom piece of jewelry—tread lightly, Swann says. “For things like china from your grandmother, put it away, hold on to it, and be on the lookout for someone that you know personally in your life. This way, the handoff is more meaningful, as opposed to feeling as if it’s going away.” She suggests your friends, a coworker, or other relatives. “Sharing with someone who means something to you could make it more meaningful.”

Don’t be afraid to donate or sell

If it really isn’t your speed, you have no obligation to hold onto a gift that isn’t working for you. “[Marie Kondo] says that the purpose of the gift is pleasure: the pleasure of the giver in giving it to you, and your pleasure in receiving it,” says Redditor Neat_Researcher2541. “That’s it. Period. Once given and received, the item (no matter what it is) has fulfilled its purpose. You are not obligated to keep it.”

Whether you donate to charity, sell at a garage sale or online marketplace, or find it a new home on a local Buy Nothing group, you’re still finding value in the gift.

What to Do With Gifts You Need to Keep

Think of creative ways you might be able to use it

Some gifts can be more multipurpose than you’d imagine. If you’d never use an heirloom tea set you’re gifted for its intended purpose, you could separate out the parts and enjoy it in other ways—the teapot can be a charming vase for flowers, and the tea cups and saucers could hold guest soaps in the bathroom or paper clips on your desk. A silk scarf that you may not want to wear could be used as an eco-friendly, reusable gift wrap.

Decide on a storage solution

It may be worth just holding onto some gifts if you’re worried that your mother-in-law or grandmother may be offended that the item is gone, Swann says. “They’re the ones that maybe don’t take up a tremendous amount of space. An example like that is jewelry—you can put it away in a box that’s not going to take up space.”

Hord suggests displaying these gifts, if at all possible. “If you do choose to keep these items, try displaying, using, and enjoying them rather than storing them away.” And if you don’t want to see or use them, you should make sure they’re secured somewhere that’s a bit out of the way, but still well-protected.

Find a way to honor sentimental and handmade gifts

There’s no regifting with those hand-painted little treasures your kids made. But if you no longer have space for all their crafty gifts, Swann suggests ripping it off like a band-aid and tossing the ones that don’t have very special memories attached to them.

“If there’s something that’s a keepsake for a really big transitional time, keep it and display it,” Swann says. “Just get rid of the things that don’t have any type of emotional attachment, or are falling apart.”

Help Ensure That Future Gifts Are More Your Speed

Many of us are having a harder time than ever figuring out a good gift to give someone—and you may be in a situation where it can be difficult to come up with gift ideas for yourself that you’d like if someone asks. “To get ahead of this issue, let friends and family know that you’d much rather be gifted experiences rather than stuff,” Hord says. “Give them some examples, like tickets to a show or a gift card to a play place.” You’ll get memories, time with someone you care about—and no guilt or stuff to clutter up your house.