Nick Offerman is still bitter over losing ‘most likely to become the next Tom Cruise’ in school

Nick Offerman still has some complicated feelings about losing out on the ‘most likely to become the next Tom Cruise’ superlative in his high school yearbook. 

The actor, who actually stars opposite Cruise in the upcoming Mission: Impossible — the Final Reckoning, explained that he was hoping to receive the distinction only to find out that he’d been awarded most likely to ‘become the host of The David Letterman Show’ as a “consolation prize” instead.  

“I was so pissed because they did one of those sections [in the yearbook] that did most likely to become president, most likely to end up in jail,” Offerman recalled on Tuesday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. “And I was so excited because everyone knew I was the only one that wanted to become an actor and one of the distinctions was most likely to become the next Tom Cruise.”

Jimmy Kimmel then lifted up a card to reveal that the winner of said distinction was none other than a man named Todd Reische, who could be seen in a photograph sporting sunglasses while sitting atop a car with his arms crossed. 

“Well, you can kinda see why he was — I mean, he’s halfway there,” Kimmel hedged after seeing the photo, to which Offerman groaned and replied, “Ugh, you too!?” 

The Parks and Rec alum went on to press Kimmel over why Reiche had been a better fit than him, adding, “Because he was the most attractive and best athlete in the school? That’s why he’s the next Tom Cruise?” 

Kimmel then asked if, like Offerman, Reiche also spent his high school days in the marching band. “You bet your sweet ass he was not,” Offerman confidently replied. “You know what he was doing? Getting kissed under the bleachers while I was playing the baritone saxophone.”

To this day, Offerman said that Reiche has no idea how much losing out on the title upset him. “No, Todd has lived a life of service working for the labor union. He works for the city of Morris, Ill., now. He’s heroic,” the actor confessed. “Just like Tom Cruise!”

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And, speaking of Cruise, Offerman also revealed that he completely fell for his stunt-loving costar on the Mission: Impossible set. 

“By the end of the first day, I went home and said to my wife Megan [Mullally], ‘I’m in love with Tom Cruise,’” he recalled. “It was like I was going [to a] college class of Charisma 101 or a protagonist doctorate degree. By the time he finished shooting that scene, I was like, ‘F— the movie, I will take a bullet for you, Tom. Put me on your security detail.’” 

He noted that he couldn’t help but be drawn in by Cruise’s work ethic and passion. 

“He will focus in on you like they say the greatest politicians do. And you’re just like, ‘Wow, yeah, no, I totally love woodworking,’” Offerman said, giggling as he melted onto Kimmel’s desk. “That’s his superpower.” 

Watch Offerman reflect on losing out on the Tom Cruise superlative — and, later working with Cruise — in the clip above.