8.
“I grew up in a very religious household, and the church I attended, in retrospect, was likely a Christian cult disguised as a non-denominational church. One of the worst things that experience gave me was the idea that my highest purpose in life was to be a wife and mother, so I went through life into my 20s thinking I would just have children because it was the way of things.”
“Never mind that I never enjoyed playing with baby dolls. I never imagined myself holding a baby or wanting to be pregnant, and the idea of actually being pregnant is mortifying to me.
Thankfully, during college, I got enough exposure to the real world that I realized I did not, in fact, HAVE to have children and that it was okay for me not to want them.
I got a lot of pushback from my family when I left the church and started saying I didn’t want children and felt indifferent to marriage. My dad’s wife at one point said, ‘When your friends have kids, you’ll lose them because they’ll see you’re cold and heartless for not wanting children.’
Fast-forward 15 years, and no one asks me when I’m having kids anymore because, by my mid-30s, they realize it’s not a phase. I met a wonderful partner who also does not want more children. They have two older teenagers who I adore and get along with well.
Also, it turns out that a large reason I likely never wanted children is that I’m bisexual, leaning more towards a preference for women — not that it should matter, if someone says they don’t want kids, drop it and don’t ask why.”
