Warning! The following contains spoilers from the 90 Day Fiancé episode “The Price of Love.” Stream it with a Max subscription or read at your own risk!
90 Day Fiancé only began highlighting trans relationships in its more recent seasons, but has since provided fans a great service in spotlighting relationships that mass audiences may not know much about. They’ve allowed for moments that wouldn’t have come up with other couples, such as Gabriel Paboga coming out to Isabel Posada‘s parents. This latest episode’s focus on Shawn Finch and Alliya de Batista brought out another interesting storyline, as the couple argued over Shawn “deadnaming” his partner.
The incident began at a diner, where Alliyah met with Shawn’s friend for the first time. The friend said they’d known about her since prior to her transition, when she went by her given name of “Douglas.” Shawn joined in, and also repeatedly used her pre-transition name when discussing their time as a couple before she adopted Alliyah as a name. Though she mentioned in a confessional that the whole experience was upsetting, we didn’t see her confront her partner about it until later in the episode.
Alliyah Was Upset At Shawn And His Friend For Deadnaming Her
The former 90 Day Fiancé: Love In Paradise stars, who struggled over Shawn requesting an open relationship in their inaugural season, butted heads again regarding the subject of deadnaming. Alliyah clarified to her partner that she didn’t appreciate his friend using the name “Douglas” to refer to her, and she was even less impressed about her own lover using it.
The reactionary comment took Shawn aback, and while he understood Alliyah being upset, he addressed that because it was “Douglas” that he shared the first part of their relationship with, Shawn didn’t want to forget his own fond memories from before the transition. It’s a complex situation that 90 Day Fiancé couples haven’t addressed prior to this point, as this is the first couple who got together before one member transitioned.
The Couple Found A Way To Move Forward, But Is This Drama Over?
Shawn made Alliyah cry happy tears toward the end of the episode by presenting a scrapbook filled with all his memories of them together as Alliyah. It was similar to one that he’d made before her transition, but with all of the pre-pictures removed. It seemed like she got her wish, but I wondered whether they actually squashed this drama entirely.
I don’t think the resolution was a compromise, as Shawn was in part asked to bury memories he cherished if he wanted to keep Alliyah from leaving. We’ve already seen in a flash-forward at the beginning of the season that Alliyah left Shawn waiting at the altar, presumably indicating their nuptials event didn’t happen as planned. I have to wonder if it was tied to this drama, and if the issue of deadnaming will continue to be a theme for the pair throughout this season.
While 90 Day Fiancé has shown viewers a fair few trans relationships, we have yet to see one end in a successful marriage. After all the drama the franchise had Faith Tulod being manipulated by Loren Allen who had no real goal for a lasting relationship, I was hoping Shawn and Alliyah would give us a trans relationship that has a happy ending. Unfortunately, a good number of married 90 Day couples split, so there’s no guarantee these two are built to last even if they do eventually get tie the knot.
90 Day Fiancé airs on TLC on Sundays at 8:00 p.m. ET. The latest episode was a good prep for the upcoming tell-all for 90 Day: The Last Resort, in which I’m hoping for answers on Jasmine Pineda‘s surprise pregnancy and more.
