13.
“Source: my wedding. We’ll start three days before. The wedding was a Renaissance fair–style wedding outside at a large gazebo, and the maid of honor had promised to purchase a stylized dress for my bride that they had agreed on. THREE DAYS before the wedding, she called to tell us she had no money and was embarrassed to admit it, so we literally hand-sewed a dress together in 24 hours. In my opinion, it turned out pretty nice for what it was. The bride’s mother was supposed to pick up the cake and drive an hour south for the wedding. She left her house 30 minutes before the wedding to pick it up. When she finally showed up (an hour late), the cake was DESTROYED. She put it in the backseat and drove like hell all the way down, just slamming it against the box with every turn.”
“During the one-hour delay, there was almost a fist fight between two groomsmen because the maid of honor showed up in the dress she was ‘unable to afford’ in an obvious attempt to upstage the bride. During her speech after the ceremony, the maid of honor started it by saying, ‘When we all met, I did not like [my name] at all, however I found that he grows on you like a fungus.’ Needless to say, my entire side of the family was super cold about all of this. Since all of these issues were on the bride’s side, I was told to suck it up and we’d discuss it later. I assumed that many of these ‘friends’ had just shown themselves the door. Quite the opposite. Two years later, when I accepted my first well-paying job out of college, it became an issue that it was an hour and a half out of our town, so she decided to stay behind with her friends. I mailed her the divorce papers, and since she couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the hearing, I haven’t seen her again.”
