1.
“I was 14. My boyfriend and I were young and didn’t really know how sex worked, all because of his religious parents and my absent ones. I ended up pregnant. [Asking her to come with me to get my abortion] was the only time I ever asked my mom for anything. It’s the kindest thing she ever did for me. I lied to my dad and told him mom was taking me shopping for the day. We waited for three hours in the lobby, then went back to get the procedure done. To give an indication of how young I really was, I have a distinct memory of sticking my tongue out at the doctor when she told me something I didn’t like. The procedure itself wasn’t horrible, but it was not pleasant. It was like really strong menstrual cramps by a machine that made a kind of grinding noise, and five minutes or so later, I was done.”
“I had to take pills for the next week or so to help shrink my uterus back to its ‘normal size’ (my pregnancy was about 13 weeks old when it was terminated). My boyfriend was adamant about me taking my pills and doing everything I was supposed to do; he was really kind and helped me a lot.
It’s not that I’m proud of it, but I know my life would have ended up a failure if I had a baby. My family wouldn’t have supported me, my body wasn’t ready, and I would have dropped out of high school and likely become a miserable shell of a person. I either would have had to give up my childhood and life for a child I didn’t want or give up a child I always would have yearned to know and would agonize over.
I’m now married to that boyfriend, a college graduate with a full-time job, and at 29, I am finally learning who I am and beginning to love myself. Growing up religious I carried a lot of shame about my abortion, but the older I get the more I realize that I was a child myself who needed help in a situation my parents could have prevented.
I did the best thing for me, and while I’m not at the point where I could share it with my in-laws or friends, I’m not ashamed anymore. I know it was the greatest ‘wrong’ thing I’ve ever done.”
